- - School Break - -

At last I have a week of school break. It is what I have been looking forward to. For the past weeks, I have been very tensed up with two of my main assignments and my exams. Honestly, although I enjoyed my Chinese New Year break, those datelines for assignments and exams always on my mind. As a result, I often feel nervous and anxious. I even fell sick for a week before my exams. Haizzz...it was a flu, but I didn't know why it took me so long to recover from it. I guessed my body has build up some resistance against all those medicines. I went to the doctor and he prescribed me with 5 medicines. Gosssshh!!! It was too many. And one of them cause papilation. I could not sleep at night. All those medicines scared me off and I stopped consuming them. In the end, I recovered by myself without any medicine.

Hmmm...I enjoy my school break but not really. It seems like I've got nothing to do at home. Truthfully, I've got lots of things to do...I need to start on my 3000 words learning journal and 8000 words Management Research Project on a company profile and relate it to Organizational Behaviour. It's management stuffs. However, I do not have any motivation to do them yet. I'm still being laid back. I hope it's not a little too late when I start to do them next time =). I want to do something different, something refreshing, something adventurous. I noticed that my life has been centred around school and church activities only. I want to do something else...

Another thing, for the past weeks I was having a dillema. Sometimes I wonder, why must I be in such a dillema when I can set myself free. I mean, I can just do what I want to do without caring what other people think of me. However, my biggest problem is I always mind what people are thinking of me. I always afraid of being seen as a bad person. I think it's understandable as all of us do not want to be a bad guy, isn't it?

In moment like this, I feel so desperate of having someone to understand me. I want someone who can give me suggestions, someone who can lend me a listening ear. However, sometimes people are not very generous with suggestions. They want to help, but they are not in any position to give any comments or solutions as eventually, it still up to me whether I want to do it or not. I'm tired of having a dillema. But somehow, my dillema has eased out. I guess I just need to take things a step at a time.

I really miss my family. I want to be with them soon. At least, I would have some comfort by having them around me when I'm in dillema. Anyway, I would meet them in two months time. I'm really looking forward to meet them. Meanwhile, I guess I would just get busy with school life so that I won't have to worry so much about my dillema =). Ohhh please, let it be Monday soon so that I can go to school!!!

Zero-X ranted @ 7:34 PM ;
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