- - Uneasy... - -

I don't know why...but I feel very uneasy today. Feel like crying. So many emotions I feel inside...feeling so blue. I just wonder, the very second I'm laughing like crazy...and the next second I feel very sad...What's wrong with me????

Years ago....I never feel this way. Maybe as I grow older....I feel this way. Or is it because of so many things happened to me last year??? Is it because of that I changed into someone else that I don't know?? I don't know why...but I think I never feel this lonely before....So empty....When will I be able to fill up my days with long lasting laughter??

I lost my laughter.......

Zero-X ranted @ 10:46 PM ;
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- - Happy Sunday - -

I wake up this morning...still with my eyes half closed. Time to go to church...The priest's preach is very good. I like it.... He is very humorous...I laugh my heart out...After the church mass, Shelly and I go for lunch. Walk around Orchard Road, as usual =).

When Shelly and I at Paragon, shelly visits her friend who work at a gift shop. Shelly's friend who is a guy thought that I'm Shelly's younger sister. Hahahaha I'm so happy cos this is the first time someone thought I look very young =D. Most people thought I'm older than my age =).

When we are walking along Orchard Road, we are holding each other arms....I like that feeling =). Hm...I don't know how to describe the feeling....but I feel very comfortable...

I really enjoy my sunday....hm..I just feel very happy. Even though my whole body ache after walking the whole day =)

Zero-X ranted @ 10:37 PM ;
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- - Too Beautiful For Words - -

When I try to describe how I feel when you hold me
I get butterflies lullabies, it's hard to explain
Like the scent of a rose or the sound of the rain
It's too precious and too wonderful to give it a name

Too beautiful for words
A symphony inside me
Too beautiful for words
I can not take them lightly
Can you hear my silent heart

It's on the tip of my tongue
But my lips are still sealed
Only violins and their innocence can show you how I feel
And I hear them again
At the end of the day
I'm all teary-eyed when we kiss good-bye
There's nothing I can say

Must be a million times
I've tried to express this love of mine
When it goes this deep, when it tastes this sweet
It's not easy to define

Too beautiful for words
A symphony inside me
Too beautiful for words
I can not take them lightly
Can you hear my silent heart???

Zero-X ranted @ 1:22 PM ;
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- - I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!!! - -

Everytime you go away
It actually kinda makes my day
Everytime you leave
You slam the door
You pick your words so carefully
You hate to think you're hurting me
You leave me laughing on the floor

Cause I don't give it up, I don't give a damn
What you say about that
You know I don't give it up, I don't give a damn
What you say about that
You know I'm not gonna cry, about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that

I thought we were just hanging out
So why'd you kiss me on the mouth
You thought the way you taste
Would get me high
You went to all your friends to brag
Guys are always such a drag
Don't you know the reason that
I kissed you was to say goodbye

Hanging hanging out, I am simply
Hanging hanging out, I am simply
Hanging so why'd you kiss me on the mouth?
Don't you know that I...

I don't give a damn about you
I won't give it up not for you
I don't give a damn about you
I won't give it up not for you
I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that

Zero-X ranted @ 8:44 PM ;
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- - Why We Try Sooo Hard To Fit In??? - -

When I'm washing my dishes....this idea suddenly struck me...and I'm thinking of writing it down.

Ever wonder when we pass by a shoe shop...we look through the glass. There is a pair of beautiful shoe. Suddenly, we thought of trying it out. We get into the shop...and try the shoe. Unfortunatelly, the shoe doesn't fit us but because it is so pretty, we refuse to give in. By all means, we purchase that shoe and wear it just to show off to our friends.

We are very happy to get all the compliments from our friends. However, deep down every step we make, our feet hurts. It hurts so much and our feet will get all those scratches, blisters and bruises. In the end, we can't even wear other shoes.

The thing is...why we are forcing ourselves to buy that particular shoe?? Why we don't choose other shoes which might suit our feet and it can also provide comfort for us???

This apply to our everyday lives....we try sooo hard to fit in....in an environment, with someone or other things. We try so hard to get along with someone....try so hard to please but we got hurt in the end. Isn't it really silly?? We can always choose to be in different environment or get along with someone with the same interest or who "click" with us.

When we are with someone we can "click", we can be ourselves...we don't need too hard to impress or please. We can be natural and for sure, it will feel whole lot better rather that pretend to be someone we are not =).

Zero-X ranted @ 10:51 PM ;
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- - I Will Fly - -

You know all the things I've said
You know all the things that we have done
And things I gave to you
If there's a chance for me to say
How precious you are in my life
And you know that is true

To be with you is all that I need
'cause with you my life seems brighter
and these are all the things I wanna say

I will fly into your arms
And be with you till the end of time
Why are you so far away
You know it's very hard for me to get my self close to you

You're the reason why I stay
You're the one who can not believe
Our love will never end
Is it only in my dream ?
You're the one who can not see this
How could you be so blind

To be with you is all that I need
'cause with you my life seems brighter
And these are all the things I wanna say...

Zero-X ranted @ 9:22 AM ;
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- - Mixed Feelings - -

I don't know what I'm feeling right now....I'm very confused... sad....feel deserted....I don't know. Really a mixed feeling and I don't like it. I had told myself again and again and yet...this is how I feel right now. Feeling that very hard for me to explain...I'm not sure of what I want. I feel like screaming and scolding someone...anyone...

I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know
'Cause nothing's going right
And everything's a mess
And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home ??
It's a damp cold night
Trying to figure out this life

Why is everything so confusing
Maybe I'm just out of my mind.....

Zero-X ranted @ 11:40 PM ;
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- - What To Write? - -

Today as usual, nothing much happen. Hmmm but what a sad thing. I must eat my lunch very quickly and feels like I almost choke on my lunch. Perharps, the school need to extend the lunch hour...extra 15 minutes will do hehe. After lunch, walk quickly back to the school. Tiring and very bad for digestion...but what to do??? If we are late, our maths lecturer will be very displeased and always being sarcastic.

Zero-X ranted @ 6:34 PM ;
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